Seeing By Heart by K.A. Moll is a contemporary romance between a deeply traumatised and scarred woman and the butch who falls in love with her.
The story starts at Horseback Inn during a snowstorm. Kora Garver owns the Inn and when she sees a big storm headed her way she prepares for visitors who are going to be stranded until the roads are cleared. Little does she know that one of those visitors will be Finn Warner, someone she met at a vulnerable time in her life when she was 14.
Seemingly idilic, Horeseback Inn is both a haven for travellers stuck in the snow as well as a location of great trauma for Kora. it is the place where Kora found her dead mother after a suicide and that started a chain of terrible events for the teen. The Inn was willed to her by her great aunt so Kora feels a responsibility to keep the place running. After all, it is also her only means of income and she isn’t skilled at much else.
Kora is 40 years old and convinced that she will never find love. Scarred both physically and emotionally she is too broken to believe that her life is worth anything and she begins to plan her suicide.
Finn is traveling with her friend when a snowstorm forces them to stay at the Horseback Inn. There she meets the woman who she thought she would never see again. The chemistry between them is strong and when Kora gives her mixed signals about wanting to become intimate Finn is left a little confused.
When the snow storm clears and Finn leaves she starts to put the pieces together about Kora’s state of mind. But, can she get back to the Inn before Kora takes her own life? And is there any way for the two of them to live a happy life when Kora is so broken?
Heads Up
Moll tackles some rough topics including suicidal ideations, suicide, sexual abuse of a child, sex work, physical scarring at the hands of a john.
Ultimately, though, it is a story about resilience and how one can overcome the most devastating circumstances given the right support and treatment.
Narration
The audiobook is narrated by Emily Beresford. Those of you who are already familiar with Moll’s work will know Beresford from previous books.
I normally enjoy Beresford’s narration and I found this audiobook to be fine. The reason for the rating of fine is that there were times when it felt rushed or glossed over. Moll’s story is intense. There are a number of moments where the reader or listener will need time to work through what is going on. The audiobook just moved on quickly to the next bit without holding a beat for us to catch up emotionally.
Cool Things
Coy and Coby Lee from Blue Ice Landing make a guest appearance in the story. I do enjoy the small snippets where we get to see characters from other books living their best lives.
I liked the fact that love did not conquer all in this story. Instead, love gave a steadying hand to a person who needed help and was combined with therapeutic intervention and medication. I am a big believer in the healing power of love but there are limits to the fairytale and Moll manages to balance this well.
The Conclusion
This is a difficult book if you have issues with suicide, attempted suicide, physical violence, scarring or child abuse. Moll does not sugar coat the harsh realities that her characters have faced.
But, if you enjoy seeing characters who are at rock bottom come out the other end a little bit better and lighter then this is a good book for you.
If you are looking for a story that is perhaps a little less fluff and a little more gritty realty then this could be your next read or listen.
Moll writes books about people who don’t normally get their own stories and that’s exactly what you are getting with this read.
Excerpt from Seeing By Heart by K.A. Moll
Finn looked up when Kora joined her in the formal living room. “We’ll shut this room off for the night to give you some privacy,” she said, lugging her load and dropping it in a pile. “I brought you an inflatable mattress,” she added, opening the valve cover, inserting the pump’s nozzle into the hole, and pressing the switch. “Oh, and there’s a full bath off of the laundry room. Consider it yours.”
“I’m too much trouble,” Finn said, the warmth of her smile echoing in her words.
“Not at all,” Kora answered. “I’m not even sure that’s possible.” When the mattress was inflated, she stretched on a double sheet and spread a quilt. It was the prettiest of her Aunt Dee’s collection, one that she saved for special occasions.
“Doesn’t sound like a sleeping bag,” Finn commented.
“It’s not. I put on sheets and spread a quilt. I can’t have you sleeping on a rough old sleeping bag, can I?”
Finn moved over, making room for her as the fire roared, snapped, and crackled. “It really is good,” she said quietly, “being back, seeing you again.”
“You want cream in your coffee?” Kora asked, standing, and moving toward the door.
“No, black,” Finn answered, listening to her footsteps, and concluding that she had quite the knack for changing the subject. Had she been her patient, she might have confronted her, asked her if she’d gotten off track because the topic was uncomfortable or made her feel vulnerable. But she wasn’t her patient. She was Kora, the girl she’d held for hours when she was fourteen years old, one of only a handful of girls that she’d ever held that close.
Blind, in a world where attraction most often begins with sight, she’d found intimacy to be as elusive as a rare mushroom, always just beyond her grasp. The woman who’d been able to identify tiny nerves in a cadaver from memory, graduating from medical school at the top of her class, hadn’t been able to navigate the dating sphere to find an intimate partner.
“Here you go,” Kora said, delivering a mug of steaming coffee.
“Thanks,” Finn responded, taking a sip, and asking if she’d poured one for herself.
“Uh-huh. I’ve got it right here.”
“With cream?”
“No, black.”
They sat in companionable silence for a few moments.
“I brought a treat for Beacon,” Kora said. “Is it okay if I give it to her?”
“Sure. Treats are always okay as long as she’s off duty.”
“And how would I know that?” Kora asked, guessing that it might be when her jacket was off.
“You got it,” Finn answered, opening her posture, and resting her arm on the back of the sofa.
“Huh. I never thought about a guide dog having time off,” Kora said, her cushion shifting as she changed her position. “I guess I figured they worked around the clock.”
“That’s a common misconception,” Finn responded, adding that just as people get out of their work clothes at the end of the day, having time to do whatever they enjoy doing, so do service dogs. “But that said,” she went on, “she’s always at the ready. She’ll drop that chew toy in a split-second if I need help.”
Beacon stood, nosing for another biscuit.
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Bits and Bobs
ISBN number: 9798526281904
Publisher: Indie Author
Narrator: Emily Beresford
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