Not Sex by RedCharcoalNot Sex by RedCharcoal is a story in ten short parts of Idiots-To-Lovers-To-Wives trope set in the Devil Wears Prada fandom.

Look, Miranda Priestly is a Goddess. We know this. Thousands of fanfic stories confirm this, making her as powerful and as attractive as only the One True Ice Empress of sapphic fiction universe can be. So many sapphic romance novels were inspired by her. She is one of a kind and it is her intelligence as much as her beauty and power that is an intrinsic part of the deliciousness of the character.

So what happens when THE Miranda Priestly is portrayed as absolutely clueless? Totally oblivious not just to feelings and lust that are all around her and one Andrea Sachs, but quite literally completely in denial about quite a lot of that lust being put to very good use. What happens is that you, dear reader, get one of the most fabulous pieces of classic fanfic stories in DWP.

RedCharcoal and her Not Sex story is a classic indeed, both in this particular fandom but also in developing a a funny, charming and utterly true to characters story. The Oblivious Fools-To-Wives has never been written better .

Pros And My Favourite Parts

Miranda Priestly and Andy Sachs having their way with each other on every available surface at any available moment “like skilled well-dressed rabbits”, yet refusing to acknowledge even the existence of a relationship between them.

Miranda Priestly “not groveling” after “not having a panic attack” after being “not dumped” by her very-much-girlfriend-slash-assistant.

Miranda Priestly ordering her lawyer to cancel chunks of the Constitution because The First Amendment inconveniences her.

Every single one of the ten chapters of the story is GOLDEN.

Cons And Heads Up

Not a single thing.


Milena's FavouriteRedCharcoal is solely responsible for hundreds of fanfic fans falling for this very ship. And then she is also singlehandedly responsible for some of those readers following her journey from fanfic writer to sapphic fiction author when she decided to publish her story Brutal Truth. Yes, for those who aren’t aware, RedCharcoal is none other than the award-winning, absolute Queen of Ice Queens, Lee Winter. So do I need to say more as to why you should run, not walk, to read this hilarious and hot story? No? I thought so.

Also, Snow White is thankfully not in this fandom, otherwise she’d follow Miranda everywhere and try to explain to her that she is in fact wrong and that what is happening between Andrea and her is very much sex and love and marriage and then Miranda would’ve probably launched her into the sun. Well, Snow would definitely never work in fashion or journalism anywhere on either coast.

Excerpt from Not Sex

Whatever this was, they were not having sex. It doesn’t count when it’s your assistant. Who’s female. And it’s just quick and dirty against the wall in your private washroom. It’s not like she even went inside. A few fast rubs across her clit and Miranda had gasped and come like a firecracker, shocking them both speechless.

So definitely NOT sex.

Miranda had blushed faintly and been furious at the fact and tried to distract them both by sliding her hand up Andrea’s thigh. Because if she was going to be humiliated by coming ten seconds after having not-sex, she would not be alone. Her hand had gotten as far as the elastic on the doubtlessly cheap Hanes pale blue underwear before her assistant managed to deepen her embarrassment by pulling it away with a strangled “No”.

Miranda had looked startled into her wide brown eyes, thinking surely she’d misheard, only to see a firm head shake and a bitten lower lip. Regretful.

“I can’t,” she’d whispered and Miranda frowned. She snapped her hand away as though it had been bitten. Damn this girl. She’d seen Miranda like this and now she’d…

“It’s my time of the month,” Andrea admitted quietly, like a plea really, and comprehension dawned. Those creamy cheeks reddened.

Miranda blew a silent snort from her nose and wanted to bang her head against the wall. Nothing reminds one of how ridiculous all of this is when the fact of your not-sexual partner’s femaleness gets thrust into your face.

She never had this problem with men, of course. And she, herself, had ceased worrying about the so-called curse almost a year ago. So having a female partner – and an apparently fertile one at that – was a charming reminder of why they were not doing this. Well, even more than they already weren’t.

Miranda felt a headache coming on.


Find the full story here 


Bits And Bobs

Fandom: The Devil Wears Prada / Mirandy

Length: 17,868

Author: RedCharcoal

Rating: M

Rating Guide:  G= General, T = Teen and up, M=Mature, E = explicit

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